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Posts Tagged ‘land’

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My back yard

I sometimes dream of a time when I will have at least two hours free every day before 11 P.M. When I am dreaming big, I imagine a time when my schedule is flexible every day. What would that look like to me?

When a friend calls crying into my phone because of a disappointment or hurt in life, I would be able to drop what I am doing, call back, and comfort him/her. I would even have time to go to the store, buy flowers and arrange a special bouquet, bake something and bring it over. I would be there for my friend in time of need. Not tomorrow night when I am done work at 10 p.m. or Sunday only, when I have some time, but, NOW,  when I am needed and can be of help.

When I am invited to a friend’s home for dinner because a long-time friend has come back to visit from Ohio for just two days, I would be able to say yes, yes, I can’t wait. What can I bring? What game can I bring? I will be there…me and my memories. Instead, I will hide my disappointment and drive to work.

A good friend of mine has gone to Italy for a couple of weeks. She couldn’t convince me to share the trip with her. Financially, it isn’t a good time for me and I couldn’t take the time off work, but I was thrilled to be able to say yes when she asked me to take her cats for that time. More often than not when my time is required I have to say no because I just don’t have any extra. This I could do. It felt so right.

My house sits on a lovely piece of land. My back yard is surrounded by hundred-year-old pine trees with no lower branches. The fifty-foot trees reach up to the sun, stretching beyond other trees in the woods, like a giraffe’s neck longing for the warm kiss of the sun’s rays. Alders, bushes, and many things wild, including poison ivy, make their home there. I imagine being able to sit in my lawn chair near my almost-dry brook, as often as I want, listening to the slight gurgle it makes and maybe even walking along the bank and following it as it meanders on someone else’s property. I would take time in the quiet of the moment and imagine folks sitting there two-hundred years ago, thinking about the kind of life they had, working the land, letting the sun embrace their faces in the summer every day as they poured sweat, working. They slaved for what they needed and they suffered because of what they didn’t have. Their time was used in a different way than mine, but was just as precious.

Last week I had exactly eight hours of unexpected free time. I can’t even describe how excited that made me. I jumped in my car, drove to Merservey’s Farm about 35 minutes away, packed the car with lots of annuals and a few perennials, drove as fast as possible to the store to buy potting soil and spent the next six hours in bliss with my hands in the dirt. It felt so good.

There are so many things I want to do. Life is full of joy to be had. I love to work with flowers and plants, to decorate, to make quilts (maybe I could get better with time), to entertain my friends and family, put on large meals and parties, read, write, make jewelry..and that is only the beginning.

I must always prioritize and that can be so disappointing. Something always gets left out. I am writing here on my blog today. I haven’t had any time to write for almost two weeks because I didn’t have a spare minute (and I took those unexpected eight hours to play in the dirt). I miss reading the blogs I enjoy and commenting and most of all I miss writing. When I have two hours of time I have to make a choice…play in the dirt with my flowers, sit with a cup of coffee on my back deck breathing in the almost-summer smells, read, write a story or on my blog, or catch up on domestic household things. Whatever choice I make means I know it might be a whole week again before I get to make a choice about an extra hour available to me.

I must continue to teach myself to be content with what time I have and stop focusing on how different it would be if I had more time. I have much of what is good in life to enjoy. I have my family, my children, many good friends, my health and a job, a good job that keeps my head above water. Any of these things can change in the twinkling of an eye.

So, as I take out the trash later today I will have a smile on my face thinking about the next time I get to do something I want, something I enjoy.

What about all of you, my blog friends? Does time dictate your life as closely as it does mine?

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Thank you to BeKindRewrite for the wonderful prompts on Inspiration Monday!

TEARDROP TATTOOS

The small plane tilted to the right, then to the left giving his wise weathered eyes access to the great expanse below.  Excitement and anticipation flowed through his veins. He had heard stories, yes, tales of now compared to then.  There were those who had seen the changes, those whose footsteps had known as his had the abundant beauty and vastness of this uninterrupted wilderness.  They had told him, described in detail, but even his best imagination couldn’t grasp it. His mind calculated time. Twenty one long years it had been since taking his last step here, in what he had considered his home, his own remote territory.  It was hard to believe that forty six short years of his life was spent working here from season to season, since the age of fourteen,  as a cookie – a  cook’s helper,  working the drives, then as a lumberjack knowing well the sound of T-I-M-B-E-R.  The pilot looked over his shoulder at him knowing those tired eyes would soon show anguish, sadness and regret; anguish because of the somber view below, sadness because he remembered what once was, and regret that he had given in to himself and come one last time in this, his eighty first year of life.

 Acres and acres of land, forest land, once green and growing, now resembled a drab faded brown, desolate and dying.   Miles of never ending destruction begged for mercy and pleaded to prove that what was once green, abundant and flourishing could thrive and mature again.  Tree trunks split and worn down looked vulnerable, thousands of them, chopped, hacked and fractured faced the sky and screamed for attention. Discarded branches, human limbs of this remote region, some large, some smaller, all maimed, severed and mangled lay lifeless in makeshift piles haphazardly strewn about.  Brooks and streams once bubbling with pink-fleshed trout, now looked tired and lifeless.  The wildlife, oh, the wildlife, the deer, moose, bear, fox, fisher, beaver and all the others, where were they?  Once they were thriving and plentiful, companions to the lumberjack, respected at a distance but very much a part of each other’s lives.  Where?  Where?

The plane slowly descended giving him full view of what he no longer wanted to see. They landed near a large maple tree, one of only a few left, standing and so alone. The pilot sat quietly saying nothing, awash in emotion at the look on his grandfather’s face.  With a negative headshake the old man sat in his seat looking out the window at the large maple, his favorite of all the trees. Knots, tattooed knots were weeping sap past other tattooed knots down the beautiful trunk of this, his tree.  He watched his own reflection in the window as his eyes watched the maple sap. Teardrops formed at each corner of his brown dull eyes but they could not fall. Instead, they sat there, like tattoos, remembering another time, a time gone by.

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